Akatsuki Daily Drabbles
by GangstaZEBRA
Summary: Just a bunch of daily feuds that involve the Akatsuki. Crackfic! Right Now: Tobi is treating Deidara wound and he is quite hesitant in the process.
1. Medical Attention

_ "Deidara-senpai! Are you okay?!"_

"_Yes, I would be okay if you stop pestering me for once Tobi, un!"_

_ "I understand but, you seek medical attention because that scar looks quite infected about now, right Zetsu-san?"_

"_Tobi's a good boy. You are doing what's best for your partner. Looking out for his health. __**Deidara is just too damn ignorant to notice your good qualities, eh?**__"_

_ The masked man grinned happily and sat in a crouched position near the blond artist who lye motionlessly on the ground breathing steadily while glaring at the plant's black half who smirked down at him teasingly. _

"_Tobi knows what to do! I will put on a small application of that healing ointment that we took from the Hyuuga heiress at the Leaf Village" he announced excitedly before reaching into his cloak and retrieving a dull gray container wrapped in light khaki colored wraps. _

_ Deidara inhaled sharply as he felt Tobi run a slender finger over the long, bruised, dark red wound across his mid-torso. A clear, thick, warm substance coated Tobi's fingers once he plunged them into the bottle. _

"_Tobi? I don't think I trust-" Deidara started before a hand covered his mouth unexpectantly which surprised him enough for a gasp to escape his mouth. _

_ "Shush Deidara-senpai. Tobi knows what he is doing."_

_Deidara shivered at the last sentence as he tensed up more._

_ "I need you to relax"_

_Deidara hesitated but complied. "Are you sure-? Gah!"_

_ Tobi jabbed at the wound aggressively with his sharpened kunai. A crimson liquid trickled from the wound. Deidara widened his eyes at the sight and screeched. "What the hell Tobi?!"_

_Black Zetsu narrowed his eyes at Deidara. "__**Shut the hell up Deidara! Be more appreciative. You have to reopen the wound first and then apply the ointment" **__he hissed. White Zetsu nodded in agreement._

_ Deidara gasped heavily as Tobi nervously slit open the wound nearly cutting open a fresh one with his shaky hand. _

"_Doctors have to be confident, not nervous, un" Deidara protested a bit shakily as he saw blood pour down from his sides in trails. _

_ "Deidara-senpai, it hurts when you doubt Tobi…"_

_The blond muttered curses and relaxed slightly into the blanket of green grass beneath him. The blue sky taunted him. Tormented him. Was he going to go to heaven while currently on his death bed? Tobi slid a warm coating onto the wound and gulped dramatically as sweat trickled down his masked forehead._

_ "F-finished!" Tobi announced aloud as he swiped at his face with his cloak sleeve. "Whoop!"_

_Deidara swallowed hardly and opened one eye slightly an observed his surroundings. Trees! Grass! Water! Tobi! Deidara has never been so happy to see Tobi in his life. The masked man patted him on his back soothingly._

_ "Deidara-senpai! Tobi helped you!" he exclaimed enthusiastically as he glomped Deidara. _

_Deidara leaned up and swatted Tobi upside the head. "Don't you dare do that again, un!" he demanded angrily. Black Zetsu chuckled. White Zetsu stared on expressionlessly._

_ "Ow! Tobi wanted to make Deidara-senpai feel better!" Tobi wailed before clutching onto the back of his head._

…

_**Author's Note: Just a short Tobi/Deidara Drabble. They made such awesome partners. Love those two so much. Remember. Reviews are much loved! :3 Follow, Favorite.**_


	2. Religion

_ "Of course you'll know about blood-letting Hidan" Kakuzu replied sarcastically with an eye roll. The Jashinist clutched onto the necklace tied around his neck appreciatively and smirked down at Kakuzu teasingly. "Jealous that you don't have anything to worship?" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow as his lips formed a firm thin line. Hidan laughed about boisterously before sticking out his tongue childishly. "The bastard doesn't have anything to be loyal to!" he chanted aloud. Kakuzu sat on the black sofa in silence._

"_I'm not for sure if I'm committed to join a society and be trustworthy…" he started hesitantly. Hidan squatted to Kakuzu's eye level and sniggered. "All you have to do is challenge yourself and it'll probably be beneficial to you shit Sherlock" Hidan explained slowly as the corners of his mouth began to twitch upwards. Kakuzu calmly stood and exited the room which was followed by Hidan's loud, obnoxious laughter. Kakuzu leaned into a corner and inhaled deeply. 'Is the little shit always this annoying?' he thought to himself._

_Kisame lazily dragged his feet across the wooden floor beneath him with a thin bristled, light blue toothbrush in hand adjoined by a tube of plain white mint toothpaste. He wore a loose white muscle tee, the Akatsuki's signature black night pants with red clouds printed on them, and he was barefooted with rumpled, dark blue hair. "Kisame?" Kakuzu called out to him decisively as he began to stride towards him confidently. The shark man sighed grumpily looking at Kakuzu irately. "Do you happen to have any sort of affiliation with a religion of any kind?" Kakuzu asked suspiciously. "Sharkism? Fishinism?" he added questionably. _

_Kisame widened his eyes in astonishment. Was Kakuzu teasing him? Itachi walked past the two with a hamper full of clothes and noticed Kisame's eye tic. A bead of sweat approached the young Uchiha's forehead as he spun around and made a sharp turn around the corner swiftly. "What's wrong Itachi, un?" Deidara asked while stopping in front of Itachi who was currently nearing down the bottom steps. Deidara received no answer and shrugged, walking up the stairs he noted that Itachi shook his head in disgrace._

"_Sharkism? What the hell Kakuzu?! Are you kidding me?! Does this deal with my species by any means?" Kisame accused furiously then he jabbed a finger at Kakuzu's chest repeatedly. Deidara widened his eyes at the scene as his eyebrow twitched repetitively. Kakuzu growled under his breath and shoved at Kisame. "Drama, un!" Deidara chuckled to himself. Tobi made room for himself near Deidara and giggled also. "Hey Deidara-Senpai! What're Kisame-san and Kakuzu-san arguing for, eh?" Deidara's smile dropped suddenly as he crouched closer to the corner and away from Tobi. _

"_Move, un!" _

"_Why?! Tobi's a good boy!"_

_Deidara clamped a hand over the masked Nin's mouth irritably. "You're going to get us caught, un!" Deidara whined lowly in a shushed voice. Tobi nodded exuberantly and held up his index finger to his mouth as Deidara released him. Kisame stared Kakuzu down and grasped onto Samehada who was resting on his back. "I challenge you!" Kakuzu smirked as he then pulled out a pair of kunai from the pouch that rested near his waist. "What're you two doing?!" came a low hiss of annoyance. _

_The voice sounded rather feminine. The two men looked up from their fighting stances immediately to greet a woman with light purple hair tied up in a high bun atop her head with a purple flower rested near it. She pinched onto Deidara and Tobi's ears tightly enough to hear them wail and complain. "Dammit, un! Tobi insisted that we eavesdrop!" Deidara yowled immaturely. "Tobi's a good boy! Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi cried as he reached for his ear in pain. Konan glared at Kakuzu and Kisame bitterly. _

"_Come. Now!" she demanded as she pivoted around with Tobi and Deidara who were still in her grasp. Kakuzu glanced at Kisame once more before he followed along with Kisame a few steps back behind him. Downstairs, Itachi sat with a book in hand, legs crossed, and a pair of thin framed, black glasses on the bridge of his nose. Hidan held a remote in hand, watching some kind of Italian soap opera which apparently surrounded around a gore and horror genre. Pein sat next to Hidan on the velvety red loveseat, watching the horror show also. Zetsu appeared to be in the kitchen, sitting at the dining room table eating some kind of meat that strongly resembled a cow liver. _

"_What a snitch. Snitch. Tattler. Snitch." Hidan sung under his breath while staring at Itachi. Itachi leaned further into the sofa and glared at Hidan. "Excuse me Hidan. May I ask do you even know the definition of a __**snitch**__?" he asked calmly before continuing to his book after a moment of silence. Hidan narrowed his eyes at the Sharingan user. "Same, May I ask when did you start to read Makeout Paradise?" he retorted in response. Itachi sighed and rubbed his temples. _

"_I've never read a romance novel before and by the rave reviews on this book I decided to read a __**popular **__novel that __**won't**__ upset me" he explained simply in monotone. Hidan puckered his cheeks and stared at him intensely. Pein looked between the two and directed his attention outside the open window to avoid being brought into unnecessary drama. Zetsu dug into the brown, smelly meat casually with a silver fork as he watched the others daily feuds. _

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**Author's Note: Eh heh. How was it? Reviews are much loved. If you wouldn't mind to check out my other story 'The Silent Warrior', please do. It is also on the Naruto Archive. That story revolves around Hanabi Hyuuga and her relationship with Konohamaru Sarutobi. Please click Follow, and Favorite if you enjoyed this small tad bit of Akatsuki humor.**_


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